When I used the gyms in New York, I dreaded the roaming trainers who would stop you as you work out only to show you you have no idea what you’re doing and that you need them to train you. The other day, a trainer (or “midrach”) showed me an exercise on the equipment where you put your arms on padded sides and hold yourself up as lift your legs. He showed me an exercise that hurt so much the next day, but he didn’t try to sell on a package, thankfully.
Today, I was doing it again, when another “midrach” saw me and stopped in his tracks.
“Did another trainer show you how to do that?”
“Um, yes.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “Oh.. ok.”
“Is there something wrong with it?”
“Um, no, not really,” he said as he shook his head, frowned, but continued to stand there.
“Is there a better way to do it?”
“It’s not that. It’s just that I know of another exercise you can do. It works your Gasdfjs Ksdjfaksd muscle.”
“My what?”
Annoyed, he repeated, “The Fadfj JSdfas muscle. It’s not quite your ab muscle, but the exercise works the ab muscle as it works the GFshdfa sadfsd. It works here,” he pointed to the general abdominal and leg area.
Confused, I tried to move away from the machine to see if he wanted to show me this magical move, but he illustrated by bending slightly and said, “It’s this move where you bend your knees at an angle, and then take your knees to your chest.”
“Isn’t that what I’m doing?”
“No. You need to pull your legs higher.”
“Higher? I don’t think that’s possible.” I tried to do the move, but there was just no possible way my legs could go higher, even in peak physical condition.
Instead of showing me, he just kept explaining the move as “No, but higher.”
“I don’t understand how this move is different from the one the other guy showed me.”
“Well, if he showed you this move. He must have had a good reason.”
“What reason?!”
“I don’t know, but he must have suggested it because of something.”
“Um, now I’m scared. Thanks.”
“No, don’t be. Next time you see him, ask him. But also, if you want a trainer, let me know,” and he walked away.
Ok, so obviously all the “midrachim” are told to show people the same move on that machine. This guy was trying to lure me in based on the false hope of a better move with higher leg lifting, but he was so unpleasant, I would never consider a session with him.
After that, I walked to the weight area and watched a woman with her male trainer. I’ve always found it awkward to see a trainer stretch the trainee. The positions they get themselves in seem.. compromising. Usually, the two are chatting away so it’s not so bad and I find the contrast amusing. But this time the trainee woman was lying down, eyes closed, in what appeared to be a slightly painful euphoria while her oversized trainer looked down at her intently as he stretched her legs. I wondered if they were married, not to eachother of course.
This is why I could never have a trainer. I don’t want to chat as I work out, I don’t want Tantric style stretching sessions, and I don’t want someone telling me they are showing me moves to work out muscles I’m not sure I believe exist.
Keren I miss your posts! I know you’re busy but I need entertainment.